Veritable Tantrum

We just saw Pluto for the first time this morning. A NASA spacecraft called New Horizons encountered the turd-sized planet and will send back never-before-seen images of the planet throughout the day.

Obviously, this is a massive fucking deal because: (1) Up until now, we’ve only seen artist renditions of Pluto instead of actual photographs. It’s the first time in a generation we’re seeing a new planet. (2) It marks the first time a spacecraft has ever flown by it because it takes 3 billion miles and NINE YEARS to get there. That thing might as well be using an LG Chocolate to snap those pictures.

This is extremely significant to the United States’ position in the international asshole race to be the King of Space. An American agency did it first, and that’s all that matters.

And most people don’t give a shit, because Minions exists.

Vox Media’s nerd subsidiary The Verge just posted this chart showing the relative search volume for Minions and Pluto. It also includes Shrek, NASA, and New Horizons as search terms. 

You can see all the way on the right after 2015 that the number of searches for Minions is exponentially higher than the rest, ESPECIALLY Pluto. People are more inquisitive toward a movie about yellow balls of claptrap-mongering pudge than the next discovery in our boundlessly horrifying universe.

Minions got a 54% on RottenTomatoes. Why not Google something better like Inside Out?